About Me

I'm the guy that comes up short in the 9th; a generic, anonymous desk jockey fading through his existence. I don't know how I got here, but one step at a time, I'll figure out how to get my life back. This blog is the start of my "reform".

It started with my recovery from a motorcycle accident in 2008. The accident itself wasn't bad. The lashing from my family, gf, and ego hurt more. I fell into a cocoon of self-loathing for nearly 2 years. My true physical deterioration started very recently. I had an extraordinary weight gain of nearly 30lbs(155-190) over the summer, mostly due to a radical drop off in activity combined with poor diet choices. I sat on my ass all summer, feeling sorry for myself. Sitting on my ass I starting getting spasms down my leg - couldn't even sit or sleep on my left side.

Eventually I developed resistance to sleeping aids, so I'd stand awake at 2am watching the tv. Filtering through the slog of infomercials I discovered IronMan. The stories, the passion, the pain, the carnage - it was beautiful & beautiful how masses of people could derive so much depth from this experience.

My goal is to collect myself. With the help of counselors, forums, friends and family - eventually the sun will set and I will know what it means to experience something beautiful.